Give Advice ONLY If It's Requested

12th of February 2018

Ever have one of those conversations where it starts out nice? When you're comfortable talking with the other person, and you don't care if and/or when the conversation ends? The feeling from the other person seems mutual? You talk about triumphs and successes and congratulate each other? THEN you get to your obstacles or troubles in life, and you don't really want advice. You know you can get through it. You're just venting your frustrations. However, the person you're talking to offers advice that you didn't ask for or want to hear. The troubles can be with family or at work. It can be the bad trip to the grocery store. Or a terrible experience at a restaurant. You just want to get it out of your system, but the other person makes that impossible by interrupting with advice when you're not even done talking. You don't want to be rude, so you let them finish. You try to change the subject, but this person thinks he/she is an expert on your trouble. They keep talking about it making you more upset about even bringing it up in the first place.

Why do I bring this up? Ever since I've started going to the gym, I've had countless people trying to give me advice. While it's appreciated, no offense, but if you weigh more than I do and only ride the couch all day, your credentials are not up to par. I've had people ask me advice about the gym, and I tell them either what my trainers have told me or to talk to a trainer. I'm not comfortable giving advice in the gym since I'm not a trainer. Especially since I'm asking questions in the gym all the time getting advice myself.

It's not just the gym. We all like to let out our frustrations about work. Unless you work in the industry I'm in, you don't know what it's like. Just like I don't know what it's like in the industry you work in. Stop trying to tell me how to fix it. I know how to fix it, but it gets frustrating to have to fix it all the time.

We all like to vent. We all like to share our own experiences as well, and there's nothing wrong with sharing a similar experience. The problem I have is when people try to play fix-it. It's ok to share personal experiences because it shows understanding (to me anyways). It shows that listening is taking place. Besides, some details may be left out whether it's by accident or not.