Going Downward Can Be Beautiful
24th of May 2016
I've been having a rough patch lately. My first fix-ups for my new home have begun. I was hoping it would set off a year, but it didn't. Oh well, I kept wheeling and dealing. That's all I could do. Complaining about it doesn't do anything but stress me out more. I just try to think that when it's all said and done, things will be better. There are some things I can apply that thinking to. The passing of my mother is NOT one of them. I cannot think of anything positive about that event. I miss her so much. I do everything now not because I want to but because she wanted me to. Call it depression, call it whatever. Let's just face the fact that I've given up on myself and other people.
THEN, I get out of my everyday life for once and go to a place I have never been before. It's a place that's so beautiful and takes away any negativity I've been having. Sure, I was thinking about my mom while I was there, but she was always a positive in my life. The place I went to was a lake just east of I-35, Beeds Lake. Like I said, I had never been there before. I wasn't there long, but it was enough to rejuvenate some positivity for me to turn things around. It didn't fully rejuvenate it, and I'm glad it didn't. That gives me a reason to go away again.
One of the things I wanted to see was the waterfall (the park calls it a spillway and I suppose it is since it's manmade). I have never seen a waterfall. The water freefalling and landing so loudly letting me know that downward can be beautiful. I stood on a rock in the water just watching the water. I can't remember what I was thinking about. Maybe it was life. Maybe it was work. Maybe it was the bad smell from the water. Either or, I left with a cleansing that I can't explain. All I know is that as much as I welcome my day of death, I still am living. I can't bring others negativity, and that includes me. I doubt that will be the last day I visit Beeds Lake, and when I go next time, maybe I'll camp there as well. All I know is even though I didn't get wet from the water, my soul did. It was washed from the downward moving water of the waterfall. Next time, I may go to Lake Minnatonka and purify myself.
We all need a soul cleansing every once in a while. I might not be religious, but I believe there's something else....the Afterworld. And when we enter this Afterworld, we should enter it the same way our mothers wanted us to enter the home. Wipe off your feet, and go to the bathroom and wash up since we've been playing in the mud. Our souls should be as clean as possible when entering our forever home.
