Out of Control
5th of November 2015
It's been a long time since I last wrote because I let things run my life that I shouldn't. Things that shouldn't run my life are work and other people. Work has been the main culpret in running my life, but my excuse for that is I need the money. Isn't that always the reason for me working so much?
One day, I have hopes of owning a house. I know there's more to it than being able to set my own rules, not worrying about hearing the neighbors having sex at 3am in the morning so well that it's almost as if they were doing it it my own room, not smelling what other people are smoking, laundry whenever I damn well please, cleaning whenever I damn well please, well you get the picture. I know that mainenance on anything would be my responsibility. I've done it before when I lived with my mother. Currently, when I get home, I have to take the dog out on a leash. I would like to just let him out in a back yard and let him do his thing. He would have more freedom, too. I also have to spray the hallway with air freshener because whatever the neighbors are smoking absolutely reeks. Then, I hope the horny neighbors will keep it down so I can get to sleep.
Those are the problems I want to minimize by getting my own house. I know I'm not going to be totally happy, but I can decide if I want a hedge in my yard or not. I've looked at a few places, but right after, I have to go to work. Work has been picking up quite a bit lately. I don't mind the workload at all. However, I've let it interfere with living life and enjoying the small things. The picture above was taken on a walk. I haven't taken as many walks as I used to, and I can't blame the weather or work. I let work control me so much that I forget to take time for myself. Maybe if I took more time for myself, things wouldn't get to me so much.
I like writing these blogs as well. I let outside events get in the way of that as well. I just don't like to come on here and complain. That's not why I started this. I don't feel this is a complaining blog, and some of you might feel it is. You're entitled to feel that. I feel this is a wake-up call for me to remember what my goals are and what I should be doing to get there.
